Mind Framing – It’s all in the mind. Make it good.

 I return to the gym on Monday and see another member who I know also has MS, and asked her if she had off today. It is a Jewish holiday, Rosh Hashanah, and I had off, too.

She said no she didn’t because she had appointment after her appointment after her appointment after her appointment. Yes, that’s exactly how she said it. She seemed very overwhelmed at the idea that her day was full of appointments, and I have to assume that they are doctors appointments, but I can’t be for sure.

I just kind of nodded and smiled and then went about my business. She didn’t really ask me what I was doing or if I had off today. And you kind of know who those special people are who ask you back.

Sometimes I ask someone how they are, with a little bit more developed question then just hi how are you, and see what I get back. Most times I will just get what they did over the weekend. Very few people asked back what I did. I guess that’s just human nature. Maybe it’s because they’re at the gym and they really don’t have time for conversation, I don’t know. They did have the time to stop and tell me what was on their plate.

My point is to not talk about the way people answer without asking and reciprocating, it’s to share how someone framed their answer to a simple question. Do you have off today. It takes some self-awareness to realize how you can answer a question before it is asked to you. This takes practice. When somebody asks you a question like that, think about the good that you did, or the good that you will be doing today. It puts you in a positive frame of mind and the listener in a better place to receive the information.

Do you have a choice with how to answer any question, and before you even start the day, think about what good is going to come of it. This might prepare you better for when someone asks you.

Her answer didn’t annoy me, it just made me realize how little self-awareness people do have. She is in the same shoes I am, with MS, but a total different frame of mind. and you do have the power to change that. I used to be the same way, but I didn’t want to live like that anymore. And now I am better for it.