Why You Should Sometimes Sweat the Small Stuff

Sometimes you have to focus on the small things. I’m not talking about The little things that might stress you out during the day, i’m talking about the smallest details that mean improvement. That means that you were better than yesterday. Yesterday something pretty remarkable happened. I was able to see a marked improvement. this improvement was in the ability of my ankle to plantar flex. Now in Laymans terms that means point my toe down. for years this was locked up in an ankle brace, whether it was an ankle foot orthotic (AFO) or a knee ankle foot orthotic (KAFO) which is the one that goes from your hips straight down into your shoe, I was fortunate enough to even try out A robotic leg brace for a few months. When you have your leg in a brace, it doesn’t matter how small or big it is, it’s there to support your leg rather than have you use the muscle to support it for you. I did not realize how much atrophy that would mean.

Yesterday, I was seated on the calf raise, which allows you to do plantar flexion without supporting your whole body weight. When I would try to do calf raises in physical therapy after I had my complex ankle surgery last year, more about that in the moment, my foot would swing forward like it was a pendulum. I had no toe point on the right.  That means that when I walk, there’s no pushing off on my toe at the end part of the step two plant in front.  I didn’t realize how complex the gait pattern is until mine was f***ed up. Trying to fix it after years of being locked up in a brace was impossible, unless I corrected the structure of my ankle.

I didn’t think that I needed corrective ankle surgery, I went to a specialist who told me that in order to correct the Equinus Varus of my right foot, that was causing me to walk on the outside of my foot with my foot turned in, crunching bones with every step, oh it was fun, he would need to release the Achilles tendon, cutting it like a Z also known as Z-plasty, and transfer a portion of a tendon connected to the inside of my ankle and wrap it around to the outside of my foot to pull it in an outward position to make it neutral over time.  Yesterday Mark one year that I had the cast taken off of my foot after surgery. I was confined to a to a couch downstairs in my house for three days.  A wheelchair next for a week, but yesterday to mark the anniversary I got on the seated calf raise machine, and after I only saw a very very slight movement a few months ago, I raised the weight up to 25 pounds and I was able to push mostly with my right foot by pointing my toe downward. It was a huge achievement, but it was so hard to see by anyone else that might’ve been seeing me in passing on the gym floor. I was just contorting my face like it was the hardest exercise, but it was such a small movement that it was really really difficult for me. It reminded me of when a spinal cord injury patient is in rehab, regaining the use of a limb.  That is exactly what it was like for me. My rehab continues in the gym every day, and I just need to step back to look at the small improvements not the big machines that are of the big muscles that are easy to see. It’s the small stuff that also counts for me.

There is nothing like having full control of your body, no matter how big or small it is, never take that for granted. Never take it for granted that your medical team knows all of the answers for you, and you should never ask questions. I wish I asked a long time ago if there was any other way for me to use my own muscles while walking. I am thankful for my walk laid back on my leg now, and being free from a brace to see what’s possible. Yesterday was the small stuff that showed me how it’s all connected, no matter how big or small. And even the small stuff is pretty important.