Sleep/meditation my next virtue. So how did it go? It’s a process alright…

For the past three weeks, I have really been diving into what makes me tick and planning for 13 virtues that I can focus on in the new year to make myself the best person I can be. This involves the 13 most things that are important to me that I value most, and cannot have control over. Having a chronic illness like MS, empowerment and control over myself, and my environment is of utmost importance to me.

It’s pretty apparent that fitness is very important to me. So important that I recertified as a certified personal trainer by the national Academy of sports medicine. There is no question that not only do I know what to do at the gym to get myself stronger, build muscle, and keep walking another day, and also how to modify it so that I can conserve my energy moving between equipment, setting things up, and making sure I’m not a mess on the machine with my crutches and stuff everywhere around me.
For my planning, organization, and completion weeks, I did a pretty good job for setting things up for myself for the new year. There are still some tweaks that I want to do, but it will be a lifelong process, getting to know what works and what doesn’t as I change in the world changers around me.

It wasn’t really until I looked at the results of the app that is tracking me with a wristwatch, tracking my activity, my heartbeat, and most importantly, now my sleep, did I realize I had such a deficit in this area. This could quite possibly that I realize now going into the new year. My saying is always make an investment when you make a withdrawal. For this, I mean when you are at the gym or working out at home, and you strengthen your muscles, you must stretch them. You should also take some rest. Today I am sporting my T-shirt that says no days off, because I do believe, even still, that when you work, one body part, you can rest another.
But I really hadn’t thought of the umbrella over your whole body that needs sleep, and a rest, too. Part of the problem I have with getting a good nights sleep, is that I am a light sleeper. I am also a mom always at the ready if my son who is sleeping across the whole should jump into bed with me because he doesn’t want to be alone or just because he likes to snuggle. At seven years old, he’s getting a little big for this with two people in the bed, jammed in between us and flattening out the blanket to make it hard for us to move.
Because at night, I do not sleep with my WalkAide, to prevent my drop foot, it is difficult for me to go and take him back to bed. It is possible, but I just don’t want to get up out of bed. I would rather rest. At times I have decided to do so because I didn’t want to hear my husband, moaning and groaning about how he is interrupting his sleep, mind you he has a pretty disruptive, CPAP mask for sleep apnea just saying.

So part of the problem is being a light sleeper as a mom, with a child that has some special needs, one including functioning, autism, and we are working on that for hours a week with a therapist, which is also cutting into our home time after school. But the therapy is planned to go through April and we are already seeing gains. What is the things they will be working on with him is that he will build his self confidence and not have to worry about being alone so much in his room so that he can sleep a full night’s sleep where he should belong in the rest of us can get our full night sleep too.

One of the other problems in getting a good nights sleep is that I don’t have the ability to get to bed any earlier than 9 o’clock. By the time we eat dinner around six, and have a routine at night and enjoy some family time, it is no earlier than 9 o’clock that I get in bed. Actually, that’s a pretty lucky night if I do. It’s usually between 930 and 10.

I choose to get up at 3:30 AM, because that is the only time I get to invest in myself. Namely, this blog, and getting myself ready for my day. I even created a corner space in my dining room, that I go to for meditation, focus, and some green tea and a little snack before the gym. When I was trying to blog in this corner that I had chosen because nobody could hear me in the house at the most remote corner, I realized that I couldn’t do more than one thing at a time it was either Blog, meditate, or drink my tea. One thing at a time. It was actually during this mornings meditation that an affirmation was read, for. I will do my best to do just one thing at a time. Yesterday, when my tea spilled to the floor because I was fumbling with my iPhone and my tea, I grabbed my phone to take a photo of it to remind myself. I put it here in this blog post. So it’s also a danger to me because I’m not very good with my hands, clumsy from MS, and even just doing more things than I should be at one time. So no more blogging in my little quiet corner. That is my mindfulness, my zone , everything mind related for me and meditation.

Yesterday during the day, because I had a score of 40% the night before, I chose to finish up my doctors appointment (I had my final nasal steroid injection for rhinitis) I decided to go to a local Starbucks. I was going to go in and just grab a table where I could just zone out and have a green tea but it was a little chilly for me and I had no problem with just sitting there in my car after going to the drive-through. Even though I was parked right in front of route 23 with traffic facing me, I didn’t let it bother me. I just focused on the cup and just chilled. It was great to be in my car alone and focusing. I didn’t really sleep, but at least I calmed my brain and my body down.

So now, instead of waking up, going to Blog and have a green tea with some snacks, I’m getting up going to the gym a little earlier, and sitting here at the exit of the parking lot where no one is just talking this into my phone. It’s an improvement and I had some time to meditate this morning with a good Buddha meditation From the insight timer an awesome app that I highly recommend, I feel good starting my day. Now off to home to get a little boy ready for school then I’ll probably take another nap this morning to make up for last nights crab sleep. I don’t have control of my outside, environmental what wakes me up, but I can control how much a rest up during the day by what I do. Have a great one!